http://feministgames.wordpress.com/2014/02/19/gridiron/
Gray and Gold and Black and White:
A Response.
My jersey says Polamalu; I am conflicted about Ben…because, as you conclude, it’s complicated. It could be easy; I should treat him as I did E-Rod; did and do, he remains unforgiven. Alex Rodriguez had huge talent and to my mind, little character. Not just the steroids, but the way he played, exemplified by slapping the ball out of Curt Schilling’s glove in the 2007 ALCS, or calling out “I got it” while trying for third in Toronto to distract my boy Johnny Mac. Exemplified – exposed(!) – by his overwhelming flakery in post season play. I believe he knew he was a heel and it manifested in those critical, spotlight series (like Tiger Woods when he fell from grace: it wasn’t his talent or ability that changed; he knew he was unworthy of adulation, and that we knew).
A Toronto boy, over the years I enjoyed a few games when we played the pinstripes; sitting near third I was amongst friends united in heckling and jeering that undeserving bum. Good riddance. Likewise David Wells, whose greatest sin in my book was dissing the city he played for. If you don’t like Toronto, LEAVE! So I relished the payback, when he returned as a Yankee and I got to see him laughed off the hill. Not only did he give up his trademark (I was gleeful, taunting at full volume: b-b-b-b-b-BOOOOOOO-mer!); he even filled the bases and walked in a run. How did I get so lucky? “Hey, BOOMER, I can see that at my kid’s house league for FREE!”
I was merciless. And for a minor sin; heck, he was just being honest in his opinion of the city. So, have I cut Big Ben some slack? I am ashamed to say so. I don’t defend him. You wouldn’t catch me dead in his jersey (Heath Miller is my choice on offense). But, like the franchise, I want that Hall of Fame talent on my team. I did not so much pick the Steelers, as my family lived there 20 years. I am by default a home team supporter (exception: the Leafs; but that’s another story). But I admire the franchise, admire the family tradition, the commitment and character uniquely expressed in that organization. And I feel their disappointment in Big Ben, and in themselves. If he were not so great a pivot, one of the stellar talents of the generation, he would have been out on his ass. There’s just too much at stake, though. Yes, the money, inevitably it comes down to the money. But we say pivot for a reason. You build a team around talent like that. Let him go, others will not even blink, they’ll scoop him up, pave his way and slap him on the back, laughing all the while that anyone was so foolish as to let someone else get that weapon.
I don’t follow closely enough to sense what his teammates think of him now. I hope he is learning humility, understanding the responsibility of being a role model. I would like to feel that he truly repented all his ugly abuses of privilege…but, his perceived reality more likely is: wrist slap, lip service…and the big paycheck that says keep doing what you’re doing.
It’s not black and white. It’s a special shade of gray, this one with a black and gold nation attached, invested in questionable heroes who give us a three hour boost on a Sunday that helps us make it through another week.
And we pay for the experience, in more ways than one; we pay more than we realize.
